Issue 258 of SOCIALIST REVIEW Published December 2001 Copyright © Socialist Review
Xmas greetings from the rich and famous delivered by Pat Stack
Stack on the back is planning a bonanza Xmas this year, and therefore has been looking for a bit of work on the side. Luckily I have managed to find a position writing Xmas card greetings for the rich and famous, and I thought you would like to know what you would be reading if one of them were sending you a card. Thankfully none of them will, but here goes.
Tony Blair, prime minister
Oh George Dubya's in charge, he's got such gravitas; But what better fun at Xmas time than to be kissin' his ass.
Oh I'm such a statesmen, spreading war around the earth; I'm another Winston Churchill, although I lack his girth.
The dilemma it is moral, as I told my wife; But now I am quite used to it, spreading terror and strife.
I am a true peacemaker, my talent it does thrill;
Iain Duncan Smith, leader of something or other
Gerry Adams, leader of Sinn Fein
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Xmas time, mistletoe and whine; Charles wants to make the speech next time; But I'll never let him, you need have no fear; For I like to drone on, year after year.
Xmas time, mistletoe and wine; I hear the poor are doing fine; if they need shelter, the cold they can't take; Book into a hotel, and let them eat cake.
George W Bush, President of the US
And so to more bombing, I'm becoming a fan; Next time it's Baghdad, or just maybe Iran.
So a very merry Xmas, and a happy new year; My B-52s will keep spreading cheer.
David Blunkett, home secretary
The prisons are filling, well throw away the key; And when we've done jailing, we will be truly free.
We did it in Ireland, and that went OK; Although many more people then joined the IRA.
World Bank, IMF, WTO
Sweatshops are a Christian thing; They make profit which is king; Protest-ban it, sod the planet;
Ian Paisley, bigot
I'm dreaming of an Orange Xmas; When every Catholic had no rights; May we bring back Stormont, and render peace dormant; And bring back those good old pogrom nights.
Lord George Robertson, Nato
We fight wars for peace, and wars to end war; Even though you know we've done it all before; The insanity clause is coming tonight.
We produce dust from rubble; We claim there is a point; We are only stopping trouble; First we must wreck the joint.
Oh you better watch out, and do not complain; Or we'll leave you to shout under our hard rain; Yes the insanity clause is coming; The insanity clause is coming, The insanity clause is coming, tonight.
Not in our name, you don't!
Merry Xmas and a happy new year, my B52s will keep spreading cheer